I'm writing a novel

[dragoncello]

Hey i'm attepting to write a book. And i want to share it and get feedback on it.....but i don't know how to use this site X( so if i skrew up im sorry. I will post it chapter by chapter... some are really short. Oh! and you should probably know that it is a fairy tale. Hope you'll like it.. and that someone will read it..

---------- Post added at 04:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:30 PM ----------

Prologue

“Once upon a time, in a land very different from ours, there was a princess named Alyss. This princess fell in love, and this is her story-” An elderly man said to a young child.
“Hey,”Interrupted the girl, “you said this was going to be a fun book. But there are no colors, just black and white writing. I wanna go play a game,” she pouted.
“Just this once will you please just sit and listen to me Emily? You’re eight and a half years old, and your mother wants me to read you chapter books. I’m sorry,but you have to learn something today. Its either we read this book or you do your arithmetic.” The old man threatened to reach in his bag for the chalkboard. Emily let out a tiny scream and sat up straight, with her hands in her lap.
“I’m ready for the story, Sir.” She said; and not wanting to have to practice her math she added, “No need for plusses and minuses when we are reading right? You can just read to me teacher, I don’t mind.” And Emily gave the most adorable and innocent smile she could conjure up. Her teacher leaned back in his chair and smiled in the way that adult sdo when they get their way.
"Now, where was I?”


The very first post of a story that i am writing ^^ hope someone reads this.... please enjoy if anyone likes or comments then i'll post some more if not.. then why should I?

[dragoncello]

Chapter One
"Once upon a time, in a land very different from ours, there was a princess named Alyss. This princess fell in love, and this is her story.” The old man paused to take a breath. “But Alyss isn’t the only character in this tale,Emily.”
“I know that sir. All stories have at least two characters, the good guy, and the bad guy.” Emily said, dismissing her teacher’s comment about not interrupting. She asked him to get along with the book; she was so tired of his nonsensical rambling.
“Okay, okay. You’re a smart girl, I think you’ll enjoy this story a lot,” Emily nodded her consent and her teacher continued to read from the purple leather-bound book.
“It starts with a banquet. King Lane was holding a feast to commemorate the newly found peace inthe Land of Alkan. Kings, queens, princes, and princesses alike were flocking to the castle in Agrolith. The city on the plains, the fortress in the golden sea, town on the flatlands, Agrolith; ruled by the good King Lane, and the home of princess Alyss.
Alyss watched the commotion from her bedroom window. It looked right into the courtyard of the main castle. She watched procession after procession of Kings and Queens from faraway lands that she had never heard of and would probably never see, yet she watched each one with revived excitement. For you see, Alyss had celebrated her coming of age two moons cycles ago, and that means she was eligible for marriage.
Alyss had been there when her father sent out the invitations to the banquet, after the many horsemen had disappeared over the horizon he turned to her. He said, “My dear daughter Alyss, this banquet is a gathering to celebrate the peace of Alkan. Every king, noble, and his family are invited to join us in celebrating peace. That means every prince in all of Alkan will be there also. Now that you are of age, the banquet seems a perfect time and place for you choose a husband. Please introduce yourself to all of them over the period of their stay. At the end of the banquet you will come to me with your choice…”
Alyss sighed; it would only be one more moon cycle until nobility from all of Alkanwould be gathered in the great hall of her castle. She had only just come of age and she was already being forced to choose a husband. It just wasn’t fair,besides she had already chosen. But would he come? Would he ever come back? She had to keep watching for him, because he promised didn’t he?
Alyss was still lost in her thoughts when a knock woke her from her dreaming.
“Princess?” An unfamiliar male voice drifted through her oaken door.
“Come in,” Alyss called, standing up from her seat by the window. The handle rattled,then the voice came again.
“Uh, it’s locked Princess.” Alyss sighed, fluffed up her dress, and walked over to the door. She fumbled with the lock a few times then gave up. Frustrated she asked the voice if he had a key.
“Oh! I forgot, I am sincerely sorry Princess.” She heard the sound of clashing keys and lock. It clicked open and the door swung out to reveal a young man, perhaps a year or two older than Alyss. His humble attire and sweet smile told her that he was not of the royal class; she wondered who he was.
“Very pleased to meet you Princess Alyss of Agrolith.” He bowed kindly. What was such a nice boy doing at the door of her room? “My name is Theodore Alwick, but you can just call me Theo if you like ma’am. I am from the outer circle ofAgrolith...” Outer circle, of course he wasn’t of nobility, yet Alyss was intriguedby his gentle smile. Oh, and the way his eyes sparkled curiously behind those curly golden locks. Alyss just stared up at him, she could a very spacey girl sometimes. He stuttered, then continued,
“…and I am to be appointed your new attendant.””

just like this post when you want to see the next chapter (the chapters get longer as it goes along so i'm not sure how this will work out...)

[tigerra79]

I like this, keep going!

[dragoncello]

Chapter 2

“Theowas staring down into those beautiful brown eyes dumbfounded, when she finallysqueaked out a word.
“Theodore…”Then she smiled. She was so lovely when she smiled, so innocent looking. Hefelt weird inside all of a sudden, like the warmth of her smile had somehowreached inside him and melted away a chunk of his heart. Theo didn’t know whatexactly he liked about her, maybe it was the way she smiled, or how her hairbounced when she tilted her head, or maybe it was how she couldn’t even unlockher own bedroom door, from the inside. He smiled back at her; something he hadnot done in a very long time.
“Oh,uh, come on in Theodore. Did my father send you for something?” The Princessasked. She cleared off the wooden bench in front of the harpsichord. Shemotioned for him to sit down while she took a seat by the window. Theo couldn’thelp but notice how the sunlight played a reddish tint on her russet hair.
“Youcan just call me Theo, Princess. And about your father, the king; he told me tointroduce myself and give you a message. The message states this,” He took outa scroll and read the contents aloud to the Princess. “Startingtomorrow I want you familiarize yourself with all of the available men whom arevisiting from the other Kingdoms. You must meet every single one of them beforethe banquet. After the banquet, come to me with your choice of a husband.” After he read the scroll, Theo rolled itup and put it back in his messenger bag.
Hisspirits dropped a bit. He had just met this girl, and for some reason, he likedher. Though she was a princess and he a servant, his heart had a wild hope thatmaybe they could find happiness together. What a foolish notion for a low-lifelike him.
“Thankyou for the message Theo, and you don’t have to call me Princess all the time.Just call me Alyss okay?” She flashed that beautiful smile his way again, andTheo blushed. She was amazing, even if she was a little scatter-brained
“OkayPrincess Alyss, thank you. Thank you for being so kind to me.” Theo bowedagain, just for good measure. “I have to be off, just ring the bell if you needanything.”
Theoleft the room with his heart beating fast. As he closed the door he noticedthat the Princess was still watching him. He tried smiling again, and shesmiled back. He walked down the stone staircase with a skip in his step and a songin his heart. When he reached the bottom he turned left into a long hallway. Ashe turned the corner Theo almost ran into a girl.
“Oh!Uh, sorry sir-“She looked up into his face and realized he was not of royalty,“Hey!” she shouted. “Who are you and what are you doing coming from theprincess’s room?” Demanding an answer, the girl (who was shorter then he)backed him into the shadow of the staircase. “If you value your life then tellme this, who are you?”
“I-I-um”He stuttered, eyeing the knife that had suddenly appeared at his throat. “My-my name is Theodore Alwick;I am the Princess’s new attendant. The king appointed me himself!” Theodorepanicked and almost fainted. This girl was crazy, where did she get that knife?Who was she to go around attackingjust anyone?
“Hmm,well Mr. Alwick,” She replaced the knife at his throat with an open hand. “I ampleased to meet you, my name is Brea.” She got off of him and helped him up offof the floor.
“Aren’tyou going to check with the king to see if I’m lying or something?” Theo venturedto ask. She smiled, her smile was something more mischievous than pleasant. Hewas afraid that she might actually attack him again, but she didn’t.
“Idon’t need to. I know you weren’t lying because I heard the panic in your voiceand I saw the fear in your eyes.” Brea turned around to adjust her cloak. “Humanscan’t lie when they are scared, if they can, they aren’t human.” She whirledaround with her knife out again, “You are human, aren’t you?” She smiled jokingly. Brea laughed and sheathed herknife. Theo was glad to see the dagger put away, she was much more ladylikewithout her shimmering blade. Theo relaxed a bit and took some time to actuallylook at Brea. She was tall, for a girl, but still shorter than he was; her skinwas a caramel color, darker than usual for nobility, he noted. But she wasdefinitely from the higher class, those diamond studded earrings that werepeeking out from behind her dark brown, almost black, hair could not belong toanyone living in the Outer Circle of the city. Brea’s dress, that was a deepviolet color, was mostly hidden by a black cloak she had on. Theo wished hehadn’t lost his own cloak on his way to the castle.
“Whatare you looking at?” She said, her head tilted like an innocent pup. Theolaughed, she looked so silly and harmless like that.

[dragoncello]

“Oh, nothing. I’d best be on my way now.” He turned around to leave, but a thought came to his mind. “Brea, please excuse me for asking, but are you of nobility here in Agrolith?”
Brea’s smile almost dropped from her face, but she caught it just in time. “I-well, kind of. You see my parents were advisors to King Glen. They died a few years ago so my uncle took me in. He isn’t as high a class as my parents were, but I am so thankful that he took me in on such a short notice.” A sad smile looked painfully pinned on her face, she looked up from her memories, “Nice meeting you Theodore. I’ll see you around. Oh, and don’t even thinkof messing around with Princess Alyss.” With a warning wink, she departed.
Theo walked along the corridor trying to keep his mind off the princess, as Brea had advised. But he wasn’t succeeding. His thoughts kept wandering around her room, remembering that sweet smile. She was younger than he was, so innocent, and she was being forced to get married already. He couldn’t even bear the idea of Alyss with some older man as her husband. Theo shook his head to rid his brain of the ugly thought.
When he came back to reality, Theo had wandered into the private castle gardens. What had startled him out of his thoughts was the sudden noise of the garden. It was usually a very quiet place, with the greenery collected from distant lands. But now that it was nearing the banquet, there were many people gathered in the garden to admire its beauty. But apparently the plants weren’t all people were admiring. Theo looked to his left and saw a group of girls giggling and pointing across the garden. He followed the girls’ stares and found a prince. Not very handsome, and he wasn’t particularly talented looking, He was probably known for his brains, ugh. Those kind of guys disgusted Theodore, all brains and no heart. But this one seemed different somehow, he wasn’t paying attention to the girls at all, he was just sitting there. The boy was looking at a flower, probably thinking about something, or someone.
Theodore watched as a group of fluttering fairies emerged from a hollow in a nearby tree. They flew around Theo’s head for a while until he shooed them away. He knew better than to mess with fairies; once they get close enough to you their magic causes you to lose track of time, or worse…But apparently this young prince knew about everything but fairies.
Theo watched the prince welcome the fairies and laugh with them. He couldn’t watch the madness anymore, Theo started towards the prince, to warn him. But just as he took the first step forward, he felt a hand on his shoulder, holding him back.
“Theodore? Is that you?” Theo whipped around to find his new friend, with her head tilted, standing right behind him.”


like to see the next one ^^ (continued cause it's too long lol)

[kitty doggy lover]

Where is the other chapter?! I love this book!!! You should really publish it when you're done with it.

[LilRobGrayson13]

I tried writing a novel, only wrote five sentences. Anyways, your's looks really awesome :3

[WilsonWolf626]

You are doing well so far. I hope that you continue. I have already finished one novel, and started on two others. And I have already started the process of locating Literary Agents to represent my books to a publishing company. It took me a very long time to finish my book. The downside is, that over time, I started to lose interest, and other ideas for books kept coming to mind. And I almost lost sight of the one I finished. Don't let that happen. Keep on track, give yourself ample time, and good breaks, and I'm sure you'll do just fine. And when you finish it, hit me up. I'll give you mailing address for some agents that look for books like this one.

Oh, and by the way. I hope that you haven't already named your book. If you haven't, then DON'T!!
I have learned that if you name your book/poems/short stories etc. before you have finished it,
you mentally, bend your original creativity to match up, one way or another, with the title.
It restricts you. So try your hardest to not title it AT ALL, until you have finished it. Don't even think up
a list of ideas. Don't get to like.. the last chapter, then name it, because it can still restrict you at the end.
It's hard to explain, but I hope that you understand what I mean....

I am looking forward to any other chapters you may post. I don't suggest posting all of your book though.
There are a lot of people out there whom search the internet, roaming, finding people who post
an entire story, they like it, and they steal it, before you have any actual rights over it.

Good Luck!
I'm sure it will flourish!!
^__^

--Amanda/WilsonWolf626

[dragoncello]

You are doing well so far. I hope that you continue. I have already finished one novel, and started on two others. And I have already started the process of locating Literary Agents to represent my books to a publishing company. It took me a very long time to finish my book. The downside is, that over time, I started to lose interest, and other ideas for books kept coming to mind. And I almost lost sight of the one I finished. Don't let that happen. Keep on track, give yourself ample time, and good breaks, and I'm sure you'll do just fine. And when you finish it, hit me up. I'll give you mailing address for some agents that look for books like this one.

Oh, and by the way. I hope that you haven't already named your book. If you haven't, then DON'T!!
I have learned that if you name your book/poems/short stories etc. before you have finished it,
you mentally, bend your original creativity to match up, one way or another, with the title.
It restricts you. So try your hardest to not title it AT ALL, until you have finished it. Don't even think up
a list of ideas. Don't get to like.. the last chapter, then name it, because it can still restrict you at the end.
It's hard to explain, but I hope that you understand what I mean....

I am looking forward to any other chapters you may post. I don't suggest posting all of your book though.
There are a lot of people out there whom search the internet, roaming, finding people who post
an entire story, they like it, and they steal it, before you have any actual rights over it.

Good Luck!
I'm sure it will flourish!!
^__^

--Amanda/WilsonWolf626

Yeah I know not to title it untill im finished, i just call it fairy tale now ^^ teehee. But thanks for the last thing, I wasn't sure If i should or not so yeah :P But i'l keep going till i feel that people either dont want it its getting to a point when there is too much. im glad to many people like it haha (this next one is a little odd that the end :P)

Chapter 3

“Helooked so angry when Brea next saw him. It couldn’t have been an hour earlierthat she had scared him half to death by putting a knife to his throat. Theo wassuch a weird kid. However, she really had no right calling him a kid because hewas older than she. But even so, he was just a commoner and she was a noble. Itwas funny how he could be so bold, wandering around the castle. Theo probablywas told by the king to acquaint himself with the castle’s staff. Brea sighedinwardly; the king was so easygoing now that there was peace between thekingdoms. She wondered how long the peace would last. Not long if commonerslike Theo could be so bold as to interfere with castle matters. When Theodoresaw her, his face only wore an expression of surprise for a moment before itsnapped back to anger.
“Lookat that fool of a prince, messing around with fairies, who does he think heis?” Theodore shouted. He motioned in front of him with the thrust of his arm.Brea peeked around his tense body and saw the problem.
Therewas an intelligent looking prince sitting on a wooden bench who had threesultry fairies fluttering around his head. The prince was under their spell, hewas laughing like he hadn’t a care in the world. The fairies were likewisegiggling and turning summersaults in the seemingly shimmering air. They looked drunk, all of them.
Breahad to agree with Theodore, it was a truly sickening display. She couldn’t helpbut scowl. “Let me handle this.” She patted Theo’s shoulder and breezed pasthim without a second thought.
“HeyPrince!” Brea cooed, “Wanna tell me what those ghastly things are, floatingaround your sorry head?”
“Uh…oh, hey. What’s your name again?” The Prince said, looking woozy andintoxicated. The fairies spotted her and quivered in fear.
“Boo!”Brea shouted, and the fairies started in astonishment. They then zoomed backinto their nest, where they belong. The cutest one, most likely the leader,stopped at the edge of the knoll and made a face at Brea before darting insidewith the others.
“Heywait you three…” The prince got up and started after the fairies. Brea shovedthe prince back down in his seat. “Hey! Why did you scare them away like that? What’swrong with you- Oh!” The Prince keeled over. He grabbed his head and groanedagain.
Breashook her head and smiled. She patted him on the head, “So, how do you like theaftereffect of your little friends’ enchantment?” Brea straightened up andmotioned for Theo to come over. “So what’s your name foolish prince? Or shall Ijust call you ‘fool’ until the end of the banquet?” Brea smirked at thecrouched figure in front of her.
Still holding his head, the prince managed tomutter a word. “Michael…” He curled up into fetal position and rocked back andforth holding his head. So this was his name, the one that Brea despised. She watchedMichael’s pained face with little pity. This man, no, boy had hurt the Princessin such a way that Brea could never forgive.
Notlong ago, when they were all children, Princess Alyss met Prince Michael. Breahad been playing with her in the garden at the time of his arrival. ThePrince’s family had business with the King. Michael had wandered away from hismother and was lured into the gardens by those irritating fairies. Brea was thefirst to notice the boy’s entrance into the garden. But Alyss was too busyplaying with dolls to notice the young prince. Brea watched as Michael stumbledafter the fairies and ran right into the princess, knocking her over. At the time Brea was armed with onlya wooden play sword, yet she slid it out of its sheath with as much grace asshe would a real sword. Brea had her sword poised for action when Alyss stoppedher. Alyss had taken the Prince’s hand and was standing in front of him,guarding him from any blow Brea might strike. Brea, confused and frustrated,put her sword away and stomped out of the garden alone.
Later that day Alyss found Brea alone in thegarden practicing swordplay. When Brea noticed the princess’s entrance she putaway her sword and sat down on the ground, she then motioned for Alyss to joinher on the cold garden stone.
“Brea! Michael, that’s the prince’s name, heis so nice. I-I think I love him.” Alyss went on to tell Brea of all of heradventures with the young prince. She told her all about the prince, anythingand everything about him. At the end of her telling, Alyss said one thing thatstuck to Brea’s mind. ‘He’s gotta leave now, but he said he’s gonna come backand marry me someday. I’ll wait for him ‘cause I love him.’
Alyss waited and waited for that Prince toreturn, and Brea was always at her side. But he never came back, until thebanquet. To return so late after the promise of marriage, it was a disgrace.Brea swore that she would kill this man if he ever showed his ugly little facearound the castle again, unless the Princess still wanted him of course. Yethere he was now, Brea thought. Right in front of her was the Prince she loathedso much. Why had he left the Princess? Why had he never returned? Thosequestions and many more were buzzing around Brea’s head like fairies.

[dragoncello]

She watched the pitiful form at her feet, imagining herself holding a knife at his throat. Brea’s expression became an empty psychotic stare as the memories of Alyss’s pain blurred her vision. Brea’s heart thumped against her chest to the beat of a sorrowed soul. Images of Alyss’s tear stained face, memories of an angry door slammed in her face, recollections of the whimpering shadow in the dark, they were all Brea could see. Images flashed before her eyes, over and over again, all images of Alyss. The madness was consuming her…The only thing Brea knew was that she had to save Alyss, she had to protect her friend. She had promised her father she would take his job as Alyss’s bodyguard. She would do anything for her. The princess must be safe at all times...
“Brea!”Theo’s voice drifted through the fog in her mind, “Brea, snap out of it!” She felt something cool and hard in her hand, she looked down and realized that in her daze she had taken out her knife and was holding it by the blade. She watched as crimson beads rolled down her arm and dripped to the ground, centimeters from the Prince’s nose.”