What is the best way to teach someone how to get over their fear of rejection?

[empowerbulldog.com]

To add onto to other member's post replies.

One thing that I've been trying to do is learn to accept me and love me for who I am. That's not an easy task for some people in this world. Even though I feel at times that in order for someone to accept me and love me for the young lady I am, I have to be the one to accomplish this first. But that's not the case all the time. I've come to make friends in person and online that have already accepted me for me. Some will tell you I'm too cruel and hateful to myself when I shouldn't be. In their mind, I should relax and enjoy the moment at hand. After all, Time is Short. I do have many fears of my own and I have overcome half of them. Like Posh said, the only way to overcome those fears is to comfront them head on. Pain and rejection is part of life. We all go through it. Unfortunatly, Some more than others. Remember, you're still alive after the acception and/or rejection.

Hi Snowy Owl,
Thank you for sharing.
It's that self-worth, or knowing that you yourself are worthy enough to go after your goals.
Accepting and loving yourself as you are, you give yourself permission to not be overly concerned or afraid of what others say or think as you pursue your goals.
It's interesting that people give the dreaded sense of rejection the same importance as the sense of dying.

[empowerbulldog.com]

Well, I'm not good with advice but think of these facts:
-The average person has about 100,000 thoughts per day. About 70 percent of those thoughts are negative. About 95 percent of those negative thoughts are grossly mis-interperations of ourselves. Think of the impact you could make if you caught those thoughts and turned them postive
-Think of the good outcomes rather then the bad.
-Stop being selfish! If it's a goal you want, and you know you have the talent to complete it then do! Don't just keep it to yourself.
-Fear of being rejected is far worse then being rejected. Use the rejections to improve, and to settle the 'what ifs'.
-Act as if it's impossible to fail-anything. Be proud and confident like you should be!
Remember:
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, either way you're right. " -Anonymous.
Good luck!(: Hope I helped

@McKennaR
You've shared some very good advice to help get over the "fear of rejection." Thank you.

No wonder the "fear of rejection" has so much power. We're constantly being being bombarded, and fed with all those negative thoughts and feelings. We're being programmed to fail without even knowing it.

Where do we get all these negative thoughts? Are we born with them? Most likely not. Think about all the negativity that is being plastered all over the TV, the news, the movies, the radio, the music, the people you hang out with, friends, co-workers, and sometimes even your family. Your mind is picking up seeds of negativity from all of these places and they're being planted in your mind. The seeds grow and grow like weeds choking off any positive thoughts of hope, confidence, or optimism.

What can one do? Do what award-winning gardener would do. Protect your garden, provide good sunshine, good soil, good water, pull weeds, put up barriers, find and use the highest quality seeds available. You can chose to protect your mind, limit or turn-off the TV, the news, the movies, the radio, the music, the people you hang out with, the people you listen to. You can chose to provide good seeds, good mentors, good reading, good listening, and all the best quality input you can find. Fight to win. Lather, rinse and repeat.

[WoRdLoVer]

@WoRlDlOvEr
Your link looks great, thank you.
Some people need more artillery to get over their fear of rejection.
Got anymore?
Clever lines sometimes help too.
Here's one.
"Some will, some won't, so what?"

Okay. I'll look for more, and when I find one, I'll post it here. I'm glad those tips helped!To make your life easier, you can just type wordlover.

[LiStYtRoN]

everyone pretty much covered it.. its the what ifs and regrets that get you

if at first your dont succeed, try try again

[empowerbulldog.com]

Theres a pattern of thinking in problems rather than thinking in possibilities, which is quite common. Its often not conscious and if we are not trained at exploring what drives us unconsciously or super-rationalists, almost all people are subject to it at some extent.

I think what helps is experience. Experience to learn how the problems one thinks in are not correctly mapping reality but might transform reality into one with problems. I received some training at the company, it was quite impressive. It can be practiced in controlled training situations and really open your eyes.

Hi Lunar Eclipse,
I truly appreciate your input with helping others master their "fear of rejection." As I mentioned before, the more artillery one has to bring into battle, the better, and the greater chances of "mapping reality" to winning. As an avid Chess player, I can relate with the benefits of thinking in possibilites rather than thinking in problems. It wasn't until that mindshift did I start winning trophies. Can you please share more details about this impressive training that you went through? Thank you.

[empowerbulldog.com]

everyone pretty much covered it.. its the what ifs and regrets that get you

if at first your dont succeed, try try again

Hi LiStYtRoN,
Thank you sharing. Yes, the statements that folks have shared so far are great but I feel we've only scratched the surface of this iceberg on "What is the best way to teach someone how to get over their fear of rejection." So let's keep an open mind that there could be more golden nuggets out there that leaders, readers and visitors can read and share. If you like please share a success story on how you were almost stopped but went ahead despite the fear and the benefits that were gained. Some folks, like me, thrive on stories to get inspired. This reminds me of a book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway." Are there other books out there? Share a book that had helped you. "Just do it" and "Pay it Forward" to your success.

[empowerbulldog.com]

HOW TO BECOME UNSTOPPABLE

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

[WoRdLoVer]

HOW TO BECOME UNSTOPPABLE

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Aww....thats so sad.... Is that why you made this thread? This is really sad, it really is. But, one day you'll find another girl. I know it!

[empowerbulldog.com]

Can you say that both characters in the story had a want, a need, and a desire? Was the goal ripe for the taking? Was it like low lying fruit? Was it reachable? Was it attainable? What needed to happen to change the story? I'm current listening to an audiobook by Dr. David J. Schwartz called "The Magic of Thinking Big." He shared that the antidote to any type of fear is "action." So next time when the "fear of rejection" monster rears its ugly head remember "Action cures fear."

[Baritooth]

I won't get too personal about this, but I have had this happen to me before. It happens to the best of us, really.

What I do when I'm afraid of rejection, is to just walk it off. I usually relax, play a game or two, watch some TV, or talk to a friend I trust. Eventually I'll get my mind off of the rejection and just do the activity.